Adulting is tough enough as it is. Adding a toddler or grade-school aged son to the equation meant having some pretty challenging situations. Luckily, I have a sense of humor, that clearly has been genetically instilled in my son. His knack for saying and doing hilarious things, at the worst possible times, has left me mortified more times than I can count. But for now, here are four instances my kid had me red-faced and wishing I was somewhere else. Enjoy these Unbelievable Mortifying Moments My Comedian of a Kid Put Me Through.
Look, Mom, a Pirate!
Getting through the checkout lane at the grocery store is like a balancing act. Here, play with my phone while I get all these things on the conveyor and keep you from grabbing every candy bar off the rack. So there I was, knee-deep in my purse digging for my wallet, and I hear, “Look, Mom, a pirate!” In my rushed state, I presumed he found something interesting on the phone, but I was mistaken. I look up and see a gentleman in line behind us with an eye patch.
You Lost A Tooth Too!
Getting gas when you’re solo and with a child is easiest when you can pay at the pump. Of course, this day, I had selected the pump with a malfunctioning card reader, meaning I had to go in. With his hand in mine, my little guy and I made our way into the crowded convenience store. In the line ahead of us was a transient looking man, who may have just cashed in on his aluminum can pick-up efforts to afford that six-pack of beer. As he’s waiting to pay, he glances down at my son and smiles. My son’s response, in classic Aiden form, is, “you lost a tooth too!” His enthusiasm that someone else would be expecting a visit from the tooth fairy was genuine. This was a completely Unbelievable Mortifying Moment for me.
Mrs. Smith? Your Son Had an Incident on the Field Trip
I already felt guilty for not participating as a mom helper on the field trip. But, my son didn’t seem to mind that I had to work instead. As the day went on, I started checking my social media to see if other parents had started posting pictures of the children on their petting zoo adventure. I then got the call. “Hi, Mrs. Smith? Your son is fine, but he did have an incident on the field trip today that resulted in a bloody nose.” Of course, I was relieved it was nothing serious, but then continued to ask what happened. He hadn’t tripped on a walk or fallen off the pony ride. Instead, his bloody nose occurred on the bus ride back to school. He apparently had been cupping his hands and making armpit flatulence noises with such ferocity that he actually managed to punch himself in the nose. This Unbelievable Mortifying Moment blew my mind.
The Escape Artist
Being a single mom means you have to manage the constant supervision in conjunction with your personal care time. I could see the playpen from the bathroom, so I could shower and periodically peer out and make sure he was still stacking his blocks. But one day, I glance from behind the curtain, and he wasn’t there. I yell for him, but no answer. So, with a head full of shampoo, I grab a towel to wrap myself and go into the living room. It’s then I see the back door is ajar. I race out onto the back porch just as my toddler genius steps onto the grass. Whew. That could have been catastrophic. How quickly a tiny person can just climb from his playpen and let himself out of the locked house. As I scoop him up, again fully soaped and towel-wrapped, the middle-aged neighbor announced his presence and, with a smile, asked if he could help.
Parenting means finding yourself in some pretty embarrassing moments. Just know you’re not alone, and those of us who roll with the punches the best, realize we have to have a sense of humor. Laugh it off and know you have plenty of mom years ahead of you to collect your mortifying moments. I hope you enjoyed these Unbelievable Mortifying Moments My Comedian of a Kid Put Me Through. If you have any similar experiences please share!