Six Gross Things Only Moms Do

Moms have a number of interesting things to do while raising tiny humans. Some things are fun, others are flat out gross and weird. As a mom of two boys under 3, I have admittedly done some pretty gross things. Here are the top 6 gross things that moms do:

1. Sniff Test (for butts).

There will be a time in every mom’s life where she is isn’t certain if her kid pooped or not. Thus, the sniff test is activated. While people mostly associate butt sniffing with that of our canine friends, you’d better believe that as a mom, you’ll be right alongside. Hey, we can’t help that it’s the most convenient method.

2. Fishing Things Out of Mouths.

Kids put things in their mouths that they’re not supposed to. It’s common knowledge. Somewhere in the parent manual is the “Mouth Sweeping” clause. Kid puts something in their mouth they shouldn’t or starts choking on food, what do you do? You stick your finger in their mouth and sweep out the food or foreign object. And speaking of food, that leads us #3!

3. Catching Puke (and chewed up food).

This one can start at birth, or at least it did for me. Motherly instincts are incredible! Your baby spits up and your hand just instinctively reaches out to catch the milk. You may be like me and have a toddler who doesn’t chew his food thoroughly, then comes over to spit it all out in your hand. This is high on the gross factor, but it comes with the [mothering] territory.

4. Spraying Milk

This one is for my breastfeeding mamas. If you don’t nurse, just imagine this: you’re nursing your little one. You’re gazing at your baby, with them looking back at you. A special bonding moment is happening. All of your sudden, you feel your let down (this is when the milk rushes out) and your baby unlatches. And BAM! Milk is sprayed everywhere. It’s on you, in the baby’s hair, and some of it got in their eye. It is like a wildfire hydrant burst and your poor kid is the victim. It’s kind of funny though so it makes up for the gross embarrassment.

5. Booger Hunting

A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go. Hi-ho the Derry-o, a hunting we will go. Nothing is really that much grosser than picking boogers out of your little one’s nose. It’s just on a level of its own. Thankfully, the NoseFrida was created to keep moms from going on archaic booger hunting adventures, though sucking them out isn’t any less gross. But hey, at least you don’t touch them and the cool filter inside keeps you from eating the boogers… like some kids do.

6. Butt Wiping

I am in the middle of potty training and WHEW! Let me tell you, it is not for the weak. With that, little booties must be wiped. You never realize how gross it is to wipe a butt until you have to wipe your kid’s butt. I’m already eager to greet the days when my kids can wipe their own butts. I’m so excited.

No matter how gross these things are, they are what being a mom [and a parent] are all about! In the grand scheme of things, we will miss these gross little tasks because of the journey it represented. So embrace it all while you can, and take it one gross thing at a time.

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